Eternal Change
by Ema2010
Summary: What was Edward dealing with those three days of Bella's transformation? What about those days he avoided Bella that ultimately led to their breakup? Snippets from the Twilight Saga all told in Edward's brooding words...please read and review!
1. Bella's Transformation

A small fic about the day Renesme was actually born. From Edward's point of view.

I knew the moment Bella's pain began. She didn't scream, but her body stiffened, and retreated like a coil. I fought the dry sobs emerging from my throat and stroked her bloody hair. My Bella, my beautiful Bella lost her soul.

After a few moments of Bella withering in agony, I watched in amazement as she suddenly stopped all movement, save the twitching of her hand.

When she didn't change for several minutes, I sighed and covered her naked body with a sheet. Then, my mind finally registered all that was going on around me.

"Reneesme." Rosalie cooed from downstairs. I heard the baby drinking what I assumed to be blood. My mind wondered if it was her own mother's, or some from Carlisle's stash.

I kissed Bella's forehead, inhaled her sweet blood for the last time and slowly made my way downstairs. The first thing I saw was Jacob, standing in front of Rosalie with a stunned expression on his face. I quickly scanned his thoughts. They were overflowing with surprise, love, fear, confusion, and most of all, worry.

_Shit! Shit! Shit! What the fuck is going on? Is she…No, she cant be! That's not possibe, is it? Crap, they're definitely gonna kill me now! Jeez, she's so beautiful, even all messed up like that. Snap out of it, Jake! She's not your imprint! She's a monster! A beautiful monster. Fuck, dammit! I need to get out of here!_

I growled and coiled, preparing to spring. That pathetic _pup_ just imprinted on my daughter. He wouldn't live until tomorrow.

Jake whipped around, staring at me with pleading eyes.

"Outside." I managed to say. He nodded and followed me to the backyard. I heard the rest of the family's minds reel in anxiety, but I ignored them.

"Jacob." I growled, my eyes coal black. I was every bit vampire at the moment.

The mongrel hung his head in apology, "I cant control it…it's not…I just…she's…" he mumbled.

My resolve to kill him weakened as he struggled for words, fumbling around to explain the situation. I remembered when I had read the mind of Sam one day. His every thought was somehow connected of Emily. It was like his mere existance depended on her happiness.

Jake stood there limply, his defensive stance stripped away. His thoughts were filled with anguish, with suffering...with love.

"Jacob..." I began, "I dont quite know what to say."

"Please, Edward. Dont take her away from me. Remember how Bells always wanted me around when she was pregnant? That was because of Reneesme. We were meant for eachother...even then." he pleaded.

I ran a had through my hair in frustration. Could I really deny him? Despite all the history between us, I had learned to not hate him, like him even. He had slowly wormed his way into the rest of my family's...well most of my family's hearts. And he was important to Bella. No, I couldn't hurt him like that. Not after all he had done, all he had prevented, all he had allowed.

I groaned in defeat, "You have to deal with Bella yourself." I sighed. I was still mad at him, but my anger was irrational. None of this was his fault.

But I still didn't like it.

Jacob nodded, "Thank you." he said softly.

We both stood there, pondering our own thoughts. Mine were focused on the rest of the family's. Carlisle and Esme had returned, and they both worried about Bella. Carlisle was checking on her now. Alice's thoughts was brighter, already musing on the topic of buying some clothes for Reneesme and putting some dress on Bella. Jasper's was more distant, as he was high up in a tree somewhere, trying to rid his mind of bloodlust. Emmett's drifted to Bella's newborn strength to Reneesme.

I was about to conclude that no one really registered my discussion with Jacob, until I heard Rosalie's.

To say she was angry was the biggest understatement of the century. She was on warpath, plotting on ways to kill Jacob. I felt bad for the dog.

She heard my acceptance of the situation and her mind was screaming at me. If she hadn't been holding Reneesme, I was sure that Jacob and I would both be running for our lives.

_Edward! You pathetic asshole! How could you! She's your fucking daughter, and you're going to let that dog have her? Do you know what this means? He's going to be in the house ALL THE TIME! You expect me to walk out smelling like HIM? What's wrong with you? _she internally seethed towards me, before her attention was diverted by Reneesme's squirming.

Ahh...Rosalie. Her issue was mainly about her own comfort, rather than Reneesme's future. Typical.

I decided to head inside and warn the family of the situation. I doubted anyone but perhaps Esme would be happy.

"Jacob, maybe you should, umm, take off for a while. Talk to the rest of the pack, let them know what happened. And, stay away from Rose." I warned. He looked scared and nodded before dashing off into the woods. A few seconds later, there was the unmistakable sound of clothes being ripped apart.

I walked inside and immediately went to go check on Bella. Esme had finished cleaning and the smell of bleach was strong in the study. Bella was still lying still, her lips pursed together and her brow furrowed. I wondered what she was going through.

"Son, she's going to be fine. Her injury's are healing beautifully and I'm going to ask Jasper to try and ease some of her pain. I dont know if it will work, but it's worth a try." he said.

Esme smiled and hugged me. "She's going to be okay." she murmured comfortingly. I nodded and patted her back, before pulling away and heading downstairs. I noticed that Rose and Reneesme weren't there, but Emmett was removing the bloody couch and Alice was cleaning up the blood on the wooden floor.

"Everything will work out." Alice chriped. She said it cryptically, but I knew she was talking about Jacob. Her mind flashed to blurry, holey visions of the Bella, a very happy, smiling Bella.

"Thanks." I muttered, helping her with the cleaning.

Withing 10 minutes, the living room was spotless and blood-free. Emmett had dug a deep hole in the woods somewhere, and shoved the whole couch down there. He now stood, smiling and dirty.

"Esme's going to kill you, you're getting the place filthy." Alice snapped to him. He laughed and bounded upstairs to go change. As he was changing, Jasper came back in, looking far more in control.

Alice skipped over to him and kissed his cheek, "We'll go hunt later." she whispered. I winced when I saw a vision of what would happen then. A naked Jasper and Alice wasn't something I pleasured in seeing.

I hissed and she looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry."

I waved her off and Emmett came downstairs.

"Hey, Edward, what's wrong with Rose?" he asked.

I groaned, "I'll explain in a minute. Can everyone please come downstairs." I requested. In a flash, the entire family, save Bella, was in the living room. I noticed that Reneesme had been cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket. A part of me twinged to go see her, but this was more important.

"We have a small problem. Jacob has imprinted on Reneesme." I said quickly, waiting for the protest. Silence rang though the room.

Rose growled and gave me a hateful look, her black eyes on fire.

Carlisle was the first to speak. "Well, we'll just have to include him in the family. He's practically part of it anyways." he said slowly and carefully.

Esme nodded, "He's good for her." she agreed softly.

Rose was surprised, she expected our parents to take her side.

"You cant be serious?" she spat, "He's a wolf, she's a vampire. It'll never work!"

Jasper shook his head, "Imprinting is never wrong, Rose. If he imprinted on her, then they were meant to be. Regardless of their conditions."

"But she's a baby!" Rose protested.

"She'll grow, wont she? And he can wait for her until then."

She scoffed, "How the fuck did this happen? One minute, he hates her, and now he's in love with her? This isn't some Disney movie!"

Emmett looked conflicted. A part of him wanted to dutifully side with his wife, but he, himself was alright with Jacob and Reneesme.

"Rose, I dont think it'll be a problem." he mumbled, hanging his head.

Because of her immense love towards him, Rosalie actually trusted him.

"Fine!" she huffed angrily, giving up. "But no one expect me to welcome that dog in our house. He's going to wish he never stepped foot in it!"

"Rose," Esme gently chided, "treat him nicely. He's helped us so much."

From Rosalie's mind, I knew that the problem ran deeper than Jacob's smell. Her dislike for him before multipled ten times, changing it into murderous hostility. She was jealous. She wanted to be the one who, outside myself and Bella, Reneesme would love the most. It would provide her with a chance at motherhood. With Jacob in the picture, she would be pushed aside, treated just like a typical aunt...loved but not cherished.

Alice gave me a sympathetic look. "I think Bella should have her say in this." she suggested. "We can ask her after she hunts for the first time."

With the mention of Bella, everyone, even Rose, wondered of my love's future. It just reminded me how much my family cared for Bella.

"Edward, have you held your daughter yet?" Esme asked, breaking the silence.

I shook my head and held out my arms. Rose sighed and gently handed me the small bundle. Slowly, everyone left, giving me some time with my daughter. Rose and Emmett went to hunt, Alice to change Bella's clothes, Jasper and Carlisle to work on calming Bella, and Esme to work on Bella's birthday present.

I peeked at the small white face, marveling at how much it had developed in just a few hours. No longer did she look like a one-day old child, but more like a 6 month old.

Her curious eyes were chocolate brown, the same as my Bella's. They darted around the room, settling on nothing for longer than a few seconds. Her thoughts were a jumble of had a lovely blush, again, like Bella's, that graced her cheeks. Her skin was pale, almost transculent, but I could tell that it was impenetrable. And her hair was as curly as Charlie's, except my color. She made a beautiful baby.

All of a sudden, her little hand slapped my cheek and I gasped, feeling an electric current glide through me. I saw Bella's face in my mind, the human Bella laying on the makeshift bed in the study.

It took me a moment to realize that Reneesme had a gift. She used physical contact to share her thoughts.

"That's your mother." I told her quietly. She seemed to understand but the picture staying in my mind, as if to ask where Bella was.

"She'll be awake soon." I said.

I watched her for a while longer, her hot hand still on my cheek. Her thoughts drifted to Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, me, and finally Jacob. I held back a sneer as I saw his awestruck face in her mind.

Finally, Reneesme drifted off to sleep, her pale lavender eyelids fluttering softly. Her rapid heartbeats slowed down to match a humans, and her pink lips formed a little 'O'. I layed her down on the loveseat, taking extra care to not disturb her. Then, I went back upstairs.

The changes in Bella were more apparent now, even though she still had 2 days left. Her skin was pearly, the last rays of the filtered sun landing on her sparkling face. Her body became more defined, firmer, and _developed_. Her hair was thicker, shinier with more luster. If she was beautiful before, she was drop dead, make-a-man-fall-on-his-knees gorgeous now. It was hard to stop the smile that spread on my face.

"She's doing better." Carlisle's vioce rang through the silence. I whirled around, seeing him standing in the doorway.

"Jasper just went out to hunt with Rosalie. He's worn out and she's still murderous." he continued, chuckling. "But his power did work on Bella, her pain seemed to be numbing slightly. We're going to try and feed her the emotion of patience next, it might help the process go faster."

"Okay. I'll just...sit with her for now." I said. He nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. I lifted myself onto Bella's bed and cradled her upper body in my arms. She let out a small sigh of what I hoped was content. I kissed her head and stroked her hair softly. I then noticed that she was changed into one of Alice's concoctions. I felt my pants stir at the sight of her. She looked undeniably sexy in her fitted ice blue silk dress and I couldn't bring myself to hate her stilletos (which I knew she would), for they did wonder's to her legs. I decided I'd have to take a cold shower later. For now, I just sat still, reliving my history with Bella in my mind, until Jasper came and shooed me out.

The next day was uneventful. Rose was doting on Reneesme, but giving me the cold shoulder. Emmett and Esme spent hours and hours on the cottage. Alice shopped online for Bella and Reneesme's new wardrobe. Carlisle and Jasper worked with on easing Bella. And I paced anxiously in the backyard for something exciting.

My wish was granted as near midnight, Jacob approached. He seemed more at ease, happier, and optomistic.

"Jacob." I greeted curtly.

"Hey Edward. " he said cheerfully, for once no hostility in his voice.

"The verdict?"

"Oh, everyone in La Push is okay with it. It took a while for them to come to terms, but they're all willing to make amends and get along. Well, except maybe Leah, but just ignore her." he told me.

_Leah_. That idiot who came storming into our house to hurt my Bella. The one who had the nerve to brush of Esme's kindness. She was against two of the most important women in my live, and for that, it made her my enemy.

I must have snarled, for Jacob put his hands up in surrender and stepped back. "Woah, chill dude. I dont like her much either. But Seth's her brother, and she stays with him. And since he's with me, I guess, now, then I cant say no to her." he explained.

I pinched the bridge of my nose tightly and then released it. We both stood akwardly for a minute or so, having nothing more to say to eachother.

"How is she?" Jacob asked softly.

"Who, Bella, or Reneesme?"

"Well, both."

"They're both doing fine." I answered, "Bella's going to wake up hopefully tomorrow evening, if not earlier. She doesn't seem to be in a lot of pain right now. Reneesme has been with Rosalie the whole day."

"Can I see Nessie?" he asked hopefully. Nessie? What kind of a nickname was that?

"Nessie?"

"Oh, sorry, I mean Reneesme. The name's kind of a mouthful, ya know?" Jacob mumbled.

"Uh...Jacob, I dont know if that's the best idea. Maybe when Rose goes hunting in a few hours, but not right now. She's very...angry with you." I told him apologetically. I did feel bad for him, Rose's wrath was something hardly anyone deserved.

"Oh...Blondie? Eh, she'll come around. But alright, I'll just go find Seth and then crash somewhere." he yawned, "I'm pretty sleepy."

"Jacob, by all means, there's a guest bedroom downstairs that you are free to use." I offered, feeling guilty that he couldn't go back home because of us.

"Nah, s'alright." he said, stepping back into the woods. "I might even go to Dad's. No one on the rez is happy with me, but hey, they cant really push me away completely, right? 'Sides, Sam is alot more controlled and accepting now. I'll see ya later, Edward."

"Suit yourself. Goodnight, Jacob." I replied, watching him dash of into the woods and hearing him phase.

I sighed and walked inside, awaiting the new day. Around dawn, Rosalie handed Reneesme off to me and joined Emmett to go hunt again. I spent a few hours watching my daughter sleep, just like I did with her mother.

Bella was almost a vampire now. Her blood had been drained from her system, only traces of the tantililzing scent remained. Her heartbeats were changing too, more rapid, almost like Reneesme's.

At that point, there was a knock on the backdoor. I cradled the baby in one arm and slid the glass door open. Jacob stood there, freshly dressed and a beaming smile on his face.

"Hey Edward. Is Blondie gone?" he asked eagerly. I found him annoying until I remembered that this was exactly how I was with Bella. The happiness couldn't be helped when one's mate was only a few feet away.

"Yeah, Jake, you can have her." I said, letting him come inside and handing Reneesme to him. He held her akwardly, obviously not quite sure of the proper way to hold a baby. But his face was pure devotion to the beauty lying on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Edward. How's Bells?"

I shrugged, "She'll probably wake up soon. The transformation is almost complete." I sighed, my mind reeling at how she would act first. But knowing Bella, she's surprise us all.

Jacob nodded, "Alright. Well, I'm just gonna hold Nessie for a while." he said.

I smiled lightly and walked upstairs, leaving a boy alone with my daughter. I groaned, thinking that if he was this attached to her now, it would be a nightmare when she grew up.

Bella was sighing softly, almost like she was asleep. Jasper sat, tired and mentally drained, in the chair next to her.

"It's harder now, Edward." he said wearily, "Half the time, she rejects the emotion."

Alice, who sat on the bed, rolled her eyes. "It's because she's a _shield_, Jazz. It isn't supposed to be easy. Anyways, she can hear us now and her pain should be subsiding, so you can stop. Go hunt." she ordered. Jasper got up and jumped out the window, eager for energy.

I chuckled at her chipper voice and sat in the now empty chair.

"She can hear us?" I asked uncertainly, stroking Bella's cheek softly.

"Mmmhmm. See, she just smiled when you touched her. Her senses are coming back."

I stroked her face again, and another soft smile flitted across her stunning face. Alice snickered when a rather lovesick smile spread across my face.

"Enough with the gooey, loveyish expressions. Please." she smirked.

I rolled my eyes at her and kept watching my Bella. Eventually, Alice got bored and left the room, going to the cottage.

Time passed slowly. Rose eventually came back, growling angrily when she saw Jacob tickling Reneesme. She spent a good 3 hours making his visit as misrible as possible by watching him with steely black eyes and throwing in snide comments every 10 minutes. Fortunately, Esme came alone around 4 and pulled her away, casting a sympathetic look towards Jacob and ruffling his hair as she walked outside. Jacob muttered a thanks and went back to feeding "the bloodthirsty baby". Everyone cracked a smile at his name for his mate.

I kept talking to Bella, whispering our history together in her ear. I told her how much I loved her, how beautiful she was, how excited everyone was, and when the rest of the family was out of the house momentarily, I told her just what I was planning on doing to her when we were alone. I wasn't really one for taking about sex, but Bella brought out the anamalistic reactions in me...especially towards her ravishing body.

Around 6, Carlisle and Alice announced that Bella would be waking up in a few minutes. Everyone, besides Jacob and Reneesme, crowded around Bella's bed, waiting for her eyes to snap open.

She arched her back, and writhed on the bed, then curled into a ball. A few seconds later, she shot off the bed onto the back wall, her eyes wide open. I sighed sadly when I noticed that her beautiful chocolate brown orbs had been changed into bloody red.

We gave her a moment to absorb everything, I knew that waking up for the first time was quite overwhelming. Bella didn't seem to fazed by it, but then again, her body language always opposite to what I expected. I couldn't help but smile when she instinctively bit her lip, like she did when she was confused as a human. The smile disappeared when I realized that I still couldn't read her mind. Oh, what would I give to probe into that mysterious abyss of secrets.

I realized how close I was to her when I was tackled by her. Her strong arms constricted around me and her soft lips molded with mine. I fought desperately to not loose control, reminding myself that the family was right there...but she tasted so_ good_. So delectable that I could hardly feel her tightening grip on my hair, which for the first time, brought me a twinge of pain. However, it evaporated when she subtly rubbed against me, hitting me _right there_. I stifled a groan and pulled back, staring into Bella's eyes, blabbering out some lame excuse about her strength so that I didn't have my way with her right them.

After a few seconds, Bella spoke an apology. It was a beautiful sound, like tinkling bells. It wasn't sultry and harsh like Rose's, or bright and perky like Alice's, it was almost like Esme's, except softer and far more pretty.

Jasper's mind was ridiculously confused. Bella should have been ravenous right now, her body craving blood. She should have sniffed out Jacob or one of Reneesme's bottles and been snarling in agony trying to reach it. But here she stood, gracefully, for once, with no indication that she was thristy at all. And this made Jasper wary.

Carlisle asked her a few questions and she hesistated before answering them. Her replies were short, and controlled, like she was trying to hide an unpleasent detail from them. I made a note to ask her of it later.

When Bella mentioned that she felt a bit thirsty, Carlisle apologized and I took that as my cue to take her hunting. The family was suprised when she mentioned Reneesme, for she should have been anamalistically eager for blood by now. But that was just Bella...

I took a deep breath, still taking away by my wife's stunning beauty.

My wife.

Eternally.

_For me._

My heart swelled at the realization, and if I could cry, I'd be sobbing hysterically by now. Bella's face puckered slightly in worry, and I imagined my face looked quite surprised. I decided that I needed her alone with me immediately, and with another shaky breath and a crooked smile,

"Bella, let's hunt."


	2. Breaking Up

**Hey guys! First off, thanks a bunch to everyone who favorited/alerted me! I really appreciate it. I've decided to do lots of random blurbs from the Twilight Saga in EPOV, just because you'll seem to like them. They will be completely canon to the books, and I'll do my best to capture Edward's brooding personality. I'll also change the summary of the story each time I put up a new chapter. **

**This one's starts right after Bella's paper cut and ends when Edward breaks up with her. For some parts, like the breakup, and the conversation after her birthday, I copied it word for word from New Moon. However, I tried to make it different by adding in Edward's thoughts and reactions to what Bella said. So please sit back, grab a few tissues if you're emotional, and enjoy. Oh, and review. I had over 200 reads, but only 3 reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

The moment I registered Jasper's craving thoughts, I knew this would end badly. I had brought Bella here on her birthday to celebrate, not get killed.

But that was exactly what would have happened, had Jasper not been stopped. But just because Bella wasn't killed, that didn't mean everything was back to normal. His snap was like a slap of reality, the harsh risks I was taking by introducing Bella into my world. It reminded me that her biggest threat wasn't skidding vans or her lack of coordination…it was us. More specifically, _me_.

I was the one who was most incited by her scent. I was the one who almost killed her that day in Biology. I was the one who left her when James was tracking her. And I was the one who didn't pull her out of the room the moment the gift wrap pierced her skin.

Me.

I found it difficult to inhale the tantalizing smell of the blood. It was everywhere, on my piano, the walls, the floor, the shattered crystal. Esme had returned, under control, and was looking for the bleach. Her thoughts were almost as calm as her husband's.

Bella was being patched up by Carlisle, who was the only one not affected. After several moments, Bella and my father persuaded me outside, and I offered little resistance.

_Please help him._ Alice's mind pleaded.

I sighed and stepped into the backyard, breathing in the fresh air. I heard Jasper's snarls of agony coming from the woods and I ran to him.

Emmett still had his arms wrapped around him, while Rosalie halfheartedly told him to calm down. Her thoughts were smug and victorious. She was pleased that she hadn't snapped like her brother.

I scoffed at her vanity and listened in on Jasper. His mind was crazed, somewhat like mine the first day I met Bella. He was thinking about how he would get to her once everyone left, how he would appear in her bedroom and drain her body.

I snarled and sprang forward, tackling him to the ground. Jasper's pitch black eyes burned into mine as he wriggled in my grasp.

"Alice would hate you." I growled, slamming his head to the ground. Emmett stood by uncertainly, wondering if he should remove Jasper from my grasp, or help me pin him down.

Recognition flitted on Jasper's face, along with a touch of fear. Slowly, he stopped his movements, his eyes dulled, and his breathing became less frenzied. I pushed myself off him, but kept tense, incase he chose to fight.

Before I could say anything else, Alice arrived, her face masking nothing but concern, sadness and relief.

"Jasper." she whispered, putting her hands on his chest.

Emmett and Rosalie walked away, giving the couple some space. I didn't.

I stood stiffly as Alice murmured soft, soothing words to Jasper, calming him down. Finally, after several minutes, he looked at me.

"I'm sorry." my brother choked out, wincing at my cold gaze.

Alice shot me a disapproving look and I rearranged my features.

But Jasper still felt my anger and backed away, looking broken.

"Edward, it'll be ok." Alice's voice soothed.

I shook my head, raking my hands through my wild hair. Alice's eyes were begging me to comfort Jasper.

For Alice, I did.

"Jasper…go hunt, please." I said softly.

"Edward, I'm sorry. Forgive me."

I nodded, "It wasn't your fault." I replied, knowing that that was true. If anyone's fault, it was mine.

Alice pulled Jasper away, and they dashed off into the woods.

_Thank you_. Alice's mind said. _I'll be back in a few minutes._

I didn't want to go back inside, to face the worry in my love's eyes, but I had to. I slowly made my way into Carlisle's study, where Bella sat. He was telling her about my history.

"…wasn't sorry, though. I've never been sorry that I saved Edward." he finished, a smile in his voice. Normally my heart would swell with the love I felt for my family. But tonight…there was nothing but pain.

"I suppose I should take you home now." Carlisle offered.

I stepped into their view, "I'll do that." I said quietly. I felt Bella's eyes on me, but I avoided her gaze.

"Carlisle can take me." Bella protested. Was there a trace of fear in her voice? Could she really not be alone with me?

"I'm fine." I assured her, "You'll need to change anyways. You'd give Charlie a heart attack the way you look. I'll have Alice get you something." I said, walking out. Alice was already shuffling through Esme's closet, trying to find something suitable for Bella to wear.

Alice came downstairs and I followed her. She pulled Bella upstairs to change, and I heard their conversation regarding me mental state.

I sighed and avoided my parent's eyes. They're minds were filled with concern.

I held the door open for Bella and smiled lightly when she struggled holding the presents Alice threw at her.

We rode in silence for a while, the air tense around us.

"Say something." Bella begged.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked her, cringing inwardly at the pain on her face.

"Tell me you forgive me."

"Forgive you? For what?" I seethed angrily. How could she possibly blame herself for this fiasco…oh wait, this was Bella Swan.

"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happened." she replied, as if she actually believed what she was saying. "It's still my fault."

That brought a new found frustration in me, along with the anger. Frustration at the situation and anger at myself for not being careful. I ranted to her about her being with Mike Newton, him being better for her, her opportunity for a normal life if I hadn't came in the picture. By the end of our argument, I was thoroughly disgusted with myself.

When Bella asked me to stay over, every fiber of my being wanted to say yes. But I couldn't. Not when my family was waiting back home, waiting for my next course of action. There were so many things we needed to discuss.

However, when she played the birthday card, I smirked internally and my resolve faltered. Like a puppy, I gave in, and climbed the window to her room. Damn the large chocolate brown eyes and sad face. I heard her bid her father a goodnight and take a shower.

When she came inside, I let her snuggle next to me and ask to open her gifts.

Reverse psychology. Well, I brought it upon myself, I suppose.

I showed her the plane tickets Carlisle and Esme had purchased and laughed at her enthusiasm. However, when I played the CD I'd made for her, I watched in agony as tears began to drip from her eyes. Did she not like it?

Bella thanked me, putting my doubts to ease, and then I went to get her some Tylenol. I could tell her arm was throbbing.

After she took the pills, we sat quietly, just listening to my compositions. My mind, however, was elsewhere. As I peered at the beautiful girl wrapped up in my arms, I knew what I had to do. I had to stop being selfish. I had to let her go, let her enjoy her greatest gift of humanity, without someone like me burdening her.

When I told her I was thinking of right and wrong, she quickly changed the subject. Again, Bella played the birthday card, asking me to kiss her. How could I refuse that. Especially if this was the last time I'd get to truly kiss her.

I tried to pour all my feelings for her in the kiss, hoping that she would understand. That someday, far off in the future, she would think back to me, and realize that I would never stop loving her.

Reality snapped back in, and I gently pushed her away, not wanting to bruise her lips. Then, I put her to bed, watching the best thing in my life slowly fall asleep.

For the last night in my existence, I drank in my mate's beauty. She was stunning, especially all peaceful and calm during her slumber. I felt the sting of venom in my eyes, but they would not fall.

The sun rose up, and Bella woke. I knew I had to talk to my family immediately, inform them of my plan. I had limited time to do so. I kissed her quickly and sprinted outside, running back to the house.

Everyone had returned and were seated at the dining table. I took my spot next to Carlisle.

After a moment of silence, Carlisle spoke.

"How is she?" he asked.

"She blames herself." was all I said.

Everyone, even Rosalie, chuckled.

"Well, that's good then. Problem solved." Esme said happily.

_Edward, please don't do this. Please, please_. Alice's internal voice pleaded. She knew what was coming.

"No, Esme, it's not." I said.

All eyes were on me.

"I cant risk her like this anymore." I began. "Bella deserves more, a chance…at a normal life. I don't want to inflict more danger on her than I already have."

"Edward, I can leave." Jasper offered, "I'm the only one that struggles."

I shook my head, "It wasn't your fault, Jasper. And this isn't the first time my involvement with her brought something bad. Remember Phoenix? And Victoria is still on the loose." I explained.

"If that redhead's still free, we cant just leave Bella unprotected." Emmett declared hotly.

"I can catch her on my own." I replied.

"Bullshit!" he yelled, slamming his fist on the table. "You cant just leave the girl like that. Anything could happen."

Carlisle nodded, "He's right, Edward. Bella Swan has a knack for getting in sticky spots."

"Charlie can take care of her. And I'll ask her to keep herself safe. Bella would do that." I told him.

"You cant make decisions for us." Rosalie spat. "Go hide yourself, you coward, but don't you dare tell anyone else to leave. That power doesn't lie with you."

"We WILL leave." I growled, "I will not allow any more unnecessary danger to be inflicted on Bella."

"You don't tell us what to do. If we want to stay, we will. None of _us _brought that human in the house. It's _your_ problem, _you _fix it." Rosalie snarled. Emmett laid a hand on her shoulder, restraining her from attacking me.

I wasn't fazed. I figured Rosalie would put up a fight, but if I could convince Esme, everyone else would listen. After all, Carlisle had made it his life's mission to agree with her. And everyone listened to Carlisle.

"Son, you need to think about this. If we leave, what will become of you? Of Bella? You two need each other." Esme said, patting my hand.

"Edward, she'll rot without you." Alice said, flashing me a vision of Bella curled up on her armchair during the winter. Her eyes were dull, bags underneath them, and she was far too thin. Even her gorgeous mane of hair was limp and dry.

"She'll get over it." I said simply.

"Coward." Rosalie snapped again.

"Rose." chided Esme.

"Edward, you must think about this. Is this the best path for Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"What about the vision, Edward." Alice cried, "It showed a happy ending."

Her mind drifted back to the perfectly clear vision of Bella and her, both vampires, and both smiling.

I shook it off, "Your visions change."

Carlisle sighed in resignation. I was surprised, I was prepared for a lot more arguing, a few broken pieces of furniture, and loud sobbing. Maybe I was melodramatic…

"If you believe that our departure will help Bella. If you truly feel she will move on and live a happier life than she is now, you have my support. But don't do this rashly. The consequences would be severe." he warned.

Rosalie's jaw dropped, but she stayed silent. She may not ever listen to me, but she respected and loved Carlisle and Esme, and would do anything they asked.

I nodded, "We must leave. Immediately." I said, standing up.

Everyone was quiet, except for Alice choking back sobs. Jasper shot me an angry look, but for once, I didn't care about my sister's pain.

"I'll go to school today, the rest of you must leave before Bella comes over to investigate. Carlisle, call up the Elzear, I'm sure they will all understand." I told them.

Alice glared at me, "I want to say goodbye."

"No, Alice. A clean break is what's best for my Bella. We've ruined her life enough as it is." I said.

"_My_ Bella?" Rosalie sneered, "You fucking asshole, she isn't _your_ Bella anymore. You don't have claim over her now."

The pain in my chest was unbearable, like a knife had twisted through my heart. Rosalie was right. Bella wasn't mine anymore.

I was waiting for Bella at school, watching her eye me carefully. She knew something was up, especially when Alice didn't show up to lunch, like the rest of my siblings. I offered her a practiced reply when she asked about it. The day passed at slog's pace, and Bella asked me to come over after her work at Newton's. With limited time left before my departure, I craved every minute I got to spend with her. Yet, I didn't want to look too excited, I had to slowly detach myself.

After a few hours, I rang Bella's doorbell, and Charlie answered.

"She's at work." he said gruffly, shuffling to the kitchen. I followed him inside and declined his offer of fresh pizza. To me it smelled ghastly, but the way he shoved it down meant that it must have been good. Of course, it didn't take much to exceed Charlie's expectations. After, I sat on the couch and shut down my mind while the chief watched television.

Bella came home soon, slightly shocked to see Charlie and I together. I knew her mind was panicking, thinking the worst regarding my strange behavior. She walked out after a quick greeting.

A few minutes later, Bella came back, her new camera in her hand. She began snapping pictures of us, obviously trying to lighten the mood. When Charlie took one of us together, I felt Bella's body next to me. It was tense, stressed out, and exhausted.

I left shortly after, declining her request to stay overnight. I had to call the moving vans and shut down the mansion. Hopefully, everyone was gone by now. I couldn't bear to see their sad faces and hear their worried thoughts. I need peace.

I spent the night pulling white sheets over the furniture, having the cars transported to Alaska, and packing any leftover belongings and lugging them into the Volvo. When I was in my room, my eyes came upon a note on my bed. It was from Alice.

_Edward,_ it read.

_You're making the world's biggest mistake. If you would have seen what I did, you would take back your decision. Jasper and I are going away for a while, we'll be back in a few weeks. Tell Bella that I'm sorry, that I'll always miss her. She'll still be my best friend. Make sure she knows that, that we all still care. Tell her the truth. Please, for me. _

_Alice_

I sighed and pulled out my phone, opening a new text to my sister.

**Stop looking into her future. We're done with her now. And let me handle how to let her go.**

It was harsh, and rude, but it had to be said. All of us would leave Bella alone now, no matter what.

I came to school the next day, avoiding Bella. She was hurt, but I prayed that her mind was preparing itself for what was to come. I watched as she interacted with her human friends easily, and I knew I was making the right choice. Humans wouldn't harm Bella, vampires would. Thankfully, she didn't ask me to stay over this time. Maybe she was sick of me. Whatever the reason, I ran all the way up to Canada and drowned my sorrows in hunting. Then, I climbed through Bella's window one last time, watching her in her fitful sleep. Never in my life had I seen anything so stunning. She was in white shorts and a white tank top, tossing and turning, her hair wild and the sheets twisted around her. She was an angel. An angel who didn't need an asshole like me near her.

My eyes scanned across her room, burning each and every detail into my mind. I would never forget the little stack of books on her nightstand, or the scruffy sneakers lying under her bed. I would always remember rocking chair, where I used to sit, and the cramped closet, where I would occasionally hide. I breathed in Bella's scent, the floral smell of freesias and blossom. So feminine, so innocent, so sweet. I was a corruption to her goodness. When my eyes trailed over the cluttered dresser, I saw the blue striped scrapbook laying open on it. I slowly made my way over, and flipped through the finished pages. I skimmed through the photos of her human friends, and then saw the pictures that she took a couple of days ago at home. There was one with her father. She looked so scared, so sad. I cringed at the fact that her emotions were my fault…as usual.

Then there was the one with me in it. But it was folded in half, hiding the girl. Sighing at Bella's lack of self-esteem, I pried the photo off, flattening it. Just as I was about to reapply it, though, the idea of a 'clean break' flitted through my mind. I needed to cut all reminders of myself from her life, so I carefully pocketed it instead. It was mine now, to add to my collection of Bella-treasures. I shut the album and made my way over to the new CD player I'd given Bella. Popping it open, I pulled out my CD and held it in my shaking hands. My love for Bella was palpable on this CD. All those compositions, they were played for her, no one else. Despite all my wishes, deep inside, I didn't want Bella to forget me. It was selfish, and cruel, I knew, but I wanted it. So I walked over to the side of her bed, crouched down, and ran my fingers over the floorboards until I found the loose one.

I lifted it up and placed the photo, and the CD inside, praying that one day, she would find it.

The last day with Bella was painfully silent. Neither of us made any attempt at conversation, and I knew it was time.

"Do you mind if I come over today?" I asked her after school.

"Of course not." she replied, confused.

"Now?"

"Sure." her voice was shaky. "I was just going to drop a letter for Renee in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there.

I stared at the envelope and plucked it off the seat, "I'll do it." I offered, "And I'll still beat you there."

I gave her a forced smirk.

"Okay." she whispered, watching me leave. I sped to the post office and dropped off the letter and then drove back to her house. The driveway was empty, but fortunately, not for long. Six minutes later, the orange truck pulled up, groaning and roaring. I wish I could by her a new car.

I got out and held out my hand, preparing myself. "Come for a walk with me."

I didn't wait for an answer, in case she decided to refuse. I pulled her into the woods, dragging her past all the trees. I felt her panic, and stopped.

"Okay let's talk." Bella said nervously.

This was it.

"Bella we're leaving."

She didn't look surprised, "Why now? Another year-"

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

She was confused, obviously not expecting the entire family to shift. She thought she'd be coming with us.

But after staring into my blank eyes for a few seconds, realization dawned upon her.

"When you say we-" she whispered, turning pale.

"I mean my family and myself." I said emotionlessly. Pain shot through my heart, and I hated myself even more for telling Bella this horrible lie.

"Okay," she said finally, "I'll come with you."

There was determination in her voice. But it wouldn't win me over today.

"You cant, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you." I winced, the venom stinging my eyes.

"Where you are is the right place for me."

I think it was the other way around.

"I'm not good for you Bella." I told her gently.

"Don't be ridiculous." Bella spat, "You're the best part of my life."

How she had it all wrong. I was the worst thing to ever happen to her. I was a monster…and she…she was a fucking angel.

"My world is not for you." I replied sadly.

"What happened with Jasper-that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" she cried desperately.

"You're right," I agreed, "It was exactly what was to be expected."

This time, I wasn't lying.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-" she began hotly.

"As long as that was best for you." I finished.

"No! this is about my soul, isn't it. Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You already have my soul. I don't want it without you-it's yours already." she declared angrily, the beginnings of tears welling up in her beautiful eyes.

I frowned, seeing no other option. No matter how long I lived, I would hate myself for saying the following words:

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

There was a pause as Bella struggled to come to terms with what I just said.

"You…don't…want me?" she uttered.

"No."

I needed to get out of here. If she pleaded, my resolve would break. Fast.

"Well that changes things." she said calmly, the hurt in her eyes replaced with coldness.

She really did hate me now.

I figured this was our goodbye, and in last words, I tried to convey all my love to her.

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired to pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I said. I should have told her that I still loved her, and would forever, with all my heart. I should have said that I wasn't tired of being 'human', but I was angry that I couldn't play the part well enough. I should have never apologized for letting our relationship bloom. It was the best part of my existence…and it would stay the best part of my existence.

"Don't." Bella cried softly, "Don't do this."

I was about to lean in for a kiss and then call my family and tell them to return, but for once, I pushed aside my own needs. I focused on hers and the most despicable of lies slipped from my lips.

"You're not good for me, Bella." the words tasted like fire on my tongue.

Finally, she spoke, her posture stiffer. "If…that's what you want."

Once again, I almost let my wants come in the way by shaking my head, but I ended up nodding. I was numb, still, and empty by now.

We were almost finished, I knew. But there was something I had to do first, for my piece of mind.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much." I said carefully.

"Anything." she promised coldly.

I stared into her chocolate orbs, wanting them to twinkle with happiness again. Soon.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid." I said sternly, intensely. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Bella nodded, just a jerk of her head.

But I remembered that I couldn't ask favors from her any more. As Rosalie so kindly put it, she was no longer MY Bella. She owed me nothing.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself-for him." I lied, trying to convince myself of my pathetic thoughts.

She nodded again, and I let of a sigh of relief. "And I'll make you this promise in return," I said, my voice filled with longing emotion. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I wont come back . I wont put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without anymore interference from me. It will be as if I never existed."

Bella started to shake lightly, and it required extreme self-control to not hold her. Instead, I gave her a kind smile.

"Don't worry," I assured, "You're human-your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

It was true, but I hated it.

"And your memories?" she choked out.

How I wish I could tell her the truth, that I would always remember her, and everything I did would be by her standards, with her memory in mind.

"Well-I wont forget. But my kind…we're very easily distracted." I smiled, hoping it would ease her pain slightly. The last thing I needed was Bella to worry about me.

I expected her to argue, to fight some more. To say that I was a liar, and beg me to stay. I wanted her to cry and attempt to kiss or hug me. But this wasn't Bella. My Bell-no-Bella was was selfless. She always put others needs above her own.

I stepped away, "That's everything, I suppose. We wont bother you again."

She didn't say anything for a good minute. "Alice isn't coming back." she gasped.

I shook my head, now hating myself to the limit. For causing Bella pain, along with my beloved sister.

"No, they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." I replied softly.

"Alice…is…gone?" she asked disbelievingly. Frankly, I didn't blame her. For Alice Cullen to leave something she loved dearly without a fight, or for her to simply disappear, was extremely rare. In fact, this was her first time doing so.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

More like forced her.

Minutes ticked by, and we stood, staring at each other. I wanted nothing more than for her to not accept my lies, and plead more. The moment she became angry, I would come clean. I couldn't stand for the love of my life to be angry with me…ever.

"Goodbye, Bella." I finally whispered, preparing to turn around.

"Wait!" she cried, coming forward. This is it! I told myself, she'll realize my lies and I'll break down! I felt like a sick masochist for wanting her. I was no good for Bella.

She lunged forward, and I was about to catch her and claim her lips with mine. But instead, I stopped her arms from winding around my neck (or slap me, if she had a hidden inner drama queen), and pressed them to her own sides. For the last time in my life, I kissed Bella. It wasn't on the lips, or the cheek. Hell, it was hardly a kiss, just a peck on the forehead. But my broken heart couldn't take anymore.

Her eyes fluttered close and I breathed her scent, savoring it.

A soft "Take care of yourself." replaced the 'I love you' I was dying to say. Taking last one look at the lovely girl in front of me, I turned around, and ran.

Isabella Marie Swan owned me. She would always own me heart, in everyway. Even if I would never again, own hers.

And thus, began my path to destruction, misery, and hopefully, death.

**Review please!**


	3. Feedback

Hello lovely readers!

I'll make this quick and not waste your time. First off, sorry this is an AN, I know you all hate those. I do too, but sometimes, they're nessessary.

Anyhoo, I didn't get much feedback on the second chapter, or my poll. I've received a few PM's on what EPOV to do next, but nothing substantial. I really am beggin' you all to just either vote on my profile what EPOV I should write, or sent me a PM/review. It takes about 3 seconds, and I'd really appreciate it.

Yeah...well, that's that! Thanks!

Ema :)


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